Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I received an appropriate gift today. A book entitled “The Year of Yes” by Maria Headley. This woman blows my sol out of the water. For an entire year, she goes on a date with everyone – regardless of looks, gender, etc. - who asks her out. I can’t wait to read it. Like me, she does it more out of a need to change her own views than to find a mate (or so I gathered from my 30 second perusal of the back cover.)
It’s gotten me thinking. I feel I may have misrepresented myself and the summer of like a little. I don’t think friendships blossom out of force. I don’t have high hopes of finding a new best friend, or a boyfriend. I don’t think I come across as particularly shy or awkward. I realize that bars have their….limitations. And I’m not manically running through the streets of Albuquerque asking out everyone I see. I’m just trying to have fun at all costs, do as many new things as possible, and meet people along the way. In short, I’m trying to live my life in Albuquerque the way I live it when I’m on vacation: fearlessly.
Why all the disclaimers? Well, for one thing, they’ve been on my mind for a while. And I’m finding out that more people than I realize have found out about this little blog…and know who I am. Which reminds me: my new friend Chris is devilishly handsome, kind and charming. (Happy?) And SS- you're downright suspicious. Lucky for you, you're friends with the Amazing M. Love, Breakfast. :)
Not much progress on new things or people this week. I house-sat again in the south valley over the weekend, which translates to 2 days of riverside seclusion. And the Bill Murray marathon on AMC. Friday night was amazing- I multi-tasked the CRAP out of it. I went to a dinner party with old friends that I hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing for a while….and had the newfound pleasure of bringing a date- my new friend B (from Imbibe).
After dinner, we went very briefly to Gecko’s, where B & I met D & C. We left shortly afterwards to meet up with Chris and his entourage (B was looking to leave town in a blaze of boogie glory), so we didn’t get to talk much. But you guys were nice and funny, and kind enough to let us share your table, so…thanks? Perhaps we’ll bump into each other again.
Chris and crew did not disappoint. They were like a theme party gone out of the house, and I’m a sucker for costumes. I didn’t really delve into meaningful conversation with anyone new, but why should I? I was out with two people that are direct products of the Summer of Like. I put on my my my my my boogie shoes, and had a good night. Club soda and all. (Once, I put a shot of Jameson’s in it, too.)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday I had a revelation. Without going into too much detail, I realized that I don't think I am interested in dating. It really IS the Summer of Like...and Nothing Else.
Briefly: "So you are trying to meet as many people as possible."
"But you don't want to kiss any of them"
"Yes. I mean no. I mean, I'm pretty sure kissing's a surefire way to complicate potential friendships."
So. Kind of a baptism-by-fire means to a realization, but time-appropriate nonetheless.
Today, Tuesday, was different. I went out to Imbibe by myself. Sans wingman, sans mutual acquaintance. I will be brutally honest here- I had nothing but low expectations for Imbibe- any place that is voted the #1 "place to be seen" is usually not for me. I went there only because it was 9pm on a Tuesday, within walking distance (if I wear comfy shoes, which I did not - OUCH!) and it has a rooftop bar. I walked upstairs - it was pretty dead, for the most part- and saw my blonde counterpart sitting at a fire table. Alone. Trendy yet nerdy. Eager eyes.
B is from Portland, visiting family. And is totally my new BFF. And I HATE the term BFF. I asked if I could share a table with her, and she replied "Please. I was hoping someone would join me." We quickly barreled into the kind of divulgences afforded only by two women who are certain they will never see each other again. One drink later, we are having a blast. Two drinks in, we are joined by three men (my last post has taught me to use aliases or initials again.) :)
So, in one night, as far as I'm concerned, I've met my 2 people/week minimum. B and I are going to try and get together for lunch before she leaves town on Saturday. We'll see what happens with bachelor # 2. By the time I left Imbibe (12am) the downstairs had become the place that, personally, my nightmares are made of. Crowded, tan, lots of skin, and wayyyyyyy to trendy for a Tuesday night. And yet the night provided an amazing connection. I can always count on Albuquerque for such conundrums.
Non-sequitor post script: I am convinced that 1:00 am on a "tuesday" (technically wednesday) is the best time to watch Flashdance.
I am going through the terrible two’s of the summer of like. Friday night, I went out – grudgingly- to Monte Vista Fire Station. I got there late, drank some club soda, and left early.
Sunday, I literally had to drag myself out of the house. I decided to go to a coffee shop to read and maybe make a new friend. Instead, I ended up having to leave within 15 minutes because someone made me feel completely uncomfortable- and it takes A LOT to make me feel uncomfortable. Like, pull out your cell phone and cross the street unsafe-uncomfortable.
Which, by the way, didn’t work – this person FOLLOWED me – and I had to use the Bumblebee’s Batcave to escape. (Awesome find- you go downstairs and come out in the back parking lot- I highly recommend it for anyone needing to make a secret exit.)
Later Sunday evening I met my friend Heather at Sadie’s…more club soda. I didn’t have the heart to suggest a friend-date with Matt, the bartender. Besides feeling that it is tacky to ask some out who’s working for your tips, my friend Heather was already aggressively playing Yenta to our mutual embarrassment. The least I could do was not add to it. For the record, if anyone working at Sadie’s is reading this – Matt and Martha both rock. They know how to treat their regulars….and their regulars’ friends.
Here’s the problem: I LIKE being alone sometimes. And I’m a pretty busy girl who’s trying to cut down on alcohol and spend less money. Not to mention I’m exhausted. Even this blog is hard – I’m sick of talking about me!! (What do YOU want me to talk about?) So far, I haven’t even pushed myself and asked anyone out without the help of a mutual friend. In short, I’ve had it easy for 2 weeks and I’m still tired!
Most of the time, I forget that I’m doing the summer of like. Saturday morning I went with my dog to the downtown growers market. It was nice just to stroll by and…well, “window” shop. I experienced something new, I had fun, at least 10 people told me my dog was gorgeous… does it matter that I didn’t ask someone to be my new friend?
My goal this week is to get it together. I CAN do it all. My work out schedule has suffered under this new social regime. I’m trying to be a foster mom to a new puppy- that requires time. Work is picking up. My #1 hobby is also picking up. Thankfully, I’m a multi-tasker at heart; I’m crossing my fingers that my usual functional-only-when-stretched-to-the-limits time management skills will kick in soon, and then I will kick ass.
In the meantime…conversation starters? Free places to hang out and meet people? Advice? Encouragement?? How can I make a blog all about me be not so much…..all about me?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
THE SUMMER OF LIKE, 2009
I have been living in Albuquerque for 4 years, and in that time I have made 2 good friends that I see on a regular basis. (Ironically, both of these friends are women I met during my first stint in Albuquerque, over 10 years ago.) No offense to my friends, but I find this number unsettling. Also unsettling, and on a related note: I have dated, but have not had any major relationship (2+ months) in these 4 years. I have heard from others that for some reason, despite the overall friendliness of the city, it is hard to meet people in Albuquerque. Rather than sit back and agree with this opinion, I have- very uncharacteristically- hatched a pro-active plan to expand my social circle.
In short: for 10 weeks, ask one person out everywhere I go. The “official rules” are outlined below. To keep it realistic for myself, “everywhere I go” has been greatly modified. Work is off-limits. I am not required to (but can, if I like) ask people out at places that are part of my daily routine, ie gym, regular coffee shop, grocery store, etc. While I am interested in making friends, I am also interested in dating, so my “test subjects” will be male.
About me: I am single, and in a 27-33 age range. I am pretty happy. I am in graduate school, and am active/fit. Most people would agree I’m smart, funny, and attractive, with no obvious social networking deficits. I am not, however, so extroverted that I approach or initiate conversations with strangers, ask people out, etc. Hopefully, this will result in a pretty fun summer!
What (if anything) I am out to discover: How truly responsible am I for my current social situation? How easy is it to make new friends in Albuquerque?
1) Keep a blog. Tell at least one person of my plan. This will help me actually go through with this.
2) Ask at least two men out/week. Subjects must be single (no wedding ring, not obviously with someone).
3) Branch out. Ask men out at various locations in Albuquerque (ie downtown, nob hill, NE heights, west side, etc.) Don’t limit myself to bars – try to go to concerts, festivals, art galleries, etc.
4) Informed consent. At some point during the “ask out”, inform person of this personal experiment. A formal/romantic date is never necessary – just hanging out will do.
I know there will probably be more rules, exceptions, caveats and problems along the way. I look forward to answering questions, hearing comments, trouble-shooting, etc.
Wish me luck!
The Summer of Like begins Friday, May 22nd, 2009.