Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Idea: rules and regulations


Mission Statement

I have been living in Albuquerque for 4 years, and in that time I have made 2 good friends that I see on a regular basis. (Ironically, both of these friends are women I met during my first stint in Albuquerque, over 10 years ago.)  No offense to my friends, but I find this number unsettling.  Also unsettling, and on a related note: I have dated, but have not had any major relationship (2+ months) in these 4 years.  I have heard from others that for some reason, despite the overall friendliness of the city, it is hard to meet people in Albuquerque. Rather than sit back and agree with this opinion, I have- very uncharacteristically- hatched a pro-active plan to expand my social circle.

In short: for 10 weeks, ask one person out everywhere I go.  The “official rules” are outlined below.  To keep it realistic for myself, “everywhere I go” has been greatly modified.  Work is off-limits.  I am not required to (but can, if I like) ask people out at places that are part of my daily routine, ie gym, regular coffee shop, grocery store, etc.  While I am interested in making friends, I am also interested in dating, so my “test subjects” will be male.

About me: I am single, and in a 27-33 age range. I am pretty happy. I am in graduate school, and am active/fit.  Most people would agree I’m smart, funny, and attractive, with no obvious social networking deficits.  I am not, however, so extroverted that I approach or initiate conversations with strangers, ask people out, etc. Hopefully, this will result in a pretty fun summer!

What (if anything) I am out to discover: How truly responsible am I for my current social situation? How easy is it to make new friends in Albuquerque?


1)    Keep a blog. Tell at least one person of my plan. This will help me actually go through with this.

2)    Ask at least two men out/week. Subjects must be single (no wedding ring, not obviously with someone).

3)    Branch out.  Ask men out at various locations in Albuquerque (ie downtown, nob hill, NE heights, west side, etc.) Don’t limit myself to bars – try to go to concerts, festivals, art galleries, etc.

4)    Informed consent. At some point during the “ask out”, inform person of this personal experiment.  A formal/romantic date is never necessary – just hanging out will do.

I know there will probably be more rules, exceptions, caveats and problems along the way.  I look forward to answering questions, hearing comments, trouble-shooting, etc.

Wish me luck!

The Summer of Like begins Friday, May 22nd, 2009.


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